I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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