Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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