Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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