go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
