please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
