I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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