This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
