Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
