hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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