i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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