Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You can't just leave with hair like that
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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