we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
