what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
