well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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