Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You were trust falling into bushes
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
