Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
