I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
