it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
