Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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