If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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