do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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