Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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