the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
