we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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