She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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