I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Randomize
