Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
