You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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