Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
