Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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