is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
