airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
