Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just sent this text using only my big toe
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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