i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
