Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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