I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
