super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
