Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
