Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
