so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
