i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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