I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
