its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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