is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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