Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
