Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
