I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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