Come see our sink grown plant.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You pole danced in your parka.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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