The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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