Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Sext me about skeletons
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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