hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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